Gone...

Today is the 1year anniversary that my dad passed away. It just brings back all the thoughts of the things I could have done to make him happier or comfortable. If he had been at Jeannie's, she would have taken him fishing. I just feel like I failed and should have should have should have....In the weeks before he died, he kept dreaming of going fishing with his dad. One morning he even got up thinking that's where he was going. He was really sad when he realized... I think the worst thing I've ever done in my life was not taking him to get a burrito one morning when he wanted to. I was just being stubborn. There are some things you can never take back. I wish I had taken him and just dropped the whole issue. He was just trying to drop it. I wish I could re-do that day and so many others.

My dad LOVED fresh seafood. In April we took him to get raw oysters on the half shell the day he got out of the hospital from his first surgery. We also took him to get oysters the last day we were in Houston with him. (We should have put him in bed!) Of course I couldn't have raw shellfish when I was pregnant, so I didn't get any.....My mouth was watering the entire time. We used to eat oysters with my dad since we could eat solid food. He would take us to Kimah's boardwalk to get fresh seafood from the Gulf on weekends and make a big feast. We would even get octapus. He could make anything and everything. Maybe he went fishing today.....